Pronto Pup

And The Crowd Goes...

2012-02-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

I sure am glad that there were no internets, smartphones, blogs or YouTube when I was a kid. No such luck for my kids, though. Here's Mac rocking out to And The Crowd Goes from the Disney smash hit, Lemonade Mouth:

No question, the kid's got moves. I kind of think that 15-year-old Mac won't be too happy about some of these posts. Sorry, dude.

Shredding Hardcore

2012-02-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

So I board now. I'm a boarder. I had my first lesson today and my instructor was like "dude, s'up." Then I was like "dude." Then we shredded and it was righteous (pronounced rOY-chuss). And that's how I became a boarder.

Just in case you don't believe me, here's some footage (and this is in actual speed, too!):

This Is What The Internets Were Invented For (Vol. 3)

2012-02-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

Time for another installment of the seldom-done ProntoPup bit, "This Is What The Internets Were Invented For"!

Today's installment - Bad Lip Reading - Ron Paul:

'RON PAUL' - A Bad Lip Reading SoundBite - watch more funny videos

Feelin' Groovy

2012-01-26T17:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm in the middle of enjoying a perfectly normal week and things couldn't be too much better. I just finished doing the dishes and am really liking my new post-dinner routine of cleaning the kitchen while listening to music. I know that sounds a bit lame, but I have been having fun with Pandora lately, and it's introduced me to some new kinds of music and bands that I didn't even know I liked. As a result, I look forward to my time in the kitchen, trying out new bands while KC and the boys practice violin, play Wii, do homework, play knee-hockey or shoot each other with the plethora of toy guns we now have ever since breaking our seven-year pledge not to allow our kids to play with guns.

I've never really been the kind of person who goes out looking for new music - I pretty much just wait for the radio to tell me what to listen to. Now, however, I have put together a new Pandora station with the following musicians (most of whom I had never heard of just a month or two ago):

So, apparently, if someone were to ask me what my musical taste is, I should answer thusly (taken from the artists' websites): "I am really into a rootsy amalgam of folk, country and bluegrass, but I'm also listening to a lot of acoustic stuff - you know, acoustic pop/soul, acoustic folk, progressive acoustic - and I really dig newgrass and Americana."

Holy crap - have you ever met anyone more pretentious? How I'm not a barista at a small, independent coffee shop is beyond me.

Anyway, I likes what I likes. And I owe it all to the good folks at Pandora (who, for some God-only-knows-what reason follow me on the Twitter)!

This is a bad idea

2012-01-15T14:23:00.000-08:00

I have decided to take up snowboarding. My reasons for doing so are three-fold: (1) I have a really hard time with my ski boots and they really hurt my feet. Snowboarders get to wear really comfortable boots, so it seems like a good fit for me; (2) I think I will look great in outfits like this:

and (3), I haven't sustained a horrible injury in a few years, so I'm due.I took the first step this weekend, and bought myself a pair of new snowboard boots. I haven't put them on yet, or even taken them out of the box, but you don't want to rush into these kinds of things. Here they are:

Pretty nice, eh? I look forward to shredding up the slopes at a reasonable pace that puts a premium on safety at some point in the fairly near future!

This Is What The Internets Were Invented For (Vol. 2)

2012-01-07T17:39:00.000-08:00

This is super awesome:

I think it's cool how creative people can be.

And that's a wrap!

2011-12-31T08:33:00.000-08:00

So long, 2011!

If I had to sum up 2011 with a kind of clunky, drawn-out analogy (which I don't but will anyway), I think it would be this (with a shout-out to my mom for the inspiration): 2011 started out a bit like a blueberry pie made without sugar, which is to say, not that sweet. Then, however, 2011 ended up like a blueberry pie which was made without sugar but had one of those lattice-type pie crust tops and then had sugar added to it between the slats, which is to say, pretty sweet.*

In keeping with the "Roses and Thorns" theme of this Blogging Challenge and building on my "Time After Time/She-Bop" year-end retrospective from 2010, it occurs to me that even the best actors sometimes make films that are not-so-good. Much like every silver lining has a cloud, every "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark" has an "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." So here, actor-by-actor, are some of this years' high and low points:

BRUCE WILLIS

Die Hard: By the end of 2011, it seems like we have really settled into our lives in a way that we hadn't for the past few years. KC and I both have new jobs, we have a new home, the boys are doing great in school, and it seems like we are all just kind of in the moment. Which is really great.

Hudson Hawk: As I type this, both boys are in full meltdown mode after two weeks of holiday break and staying up way too late - a reminder that we are still dealing with sleep issues.

BEN AFFLEK

Good Will Hunting: The end of Don't Ask Don't Tell; the NoH8 and It Gets Better campaigns; more States legalizing gay marriage and this picture. The haters and bigots have lost the war - though there will be many years of battles left as they draw out their inevitable deaths as long as possible.

Gigli: Massive GOP voter suppression efforts; heinous and racist immigration laws in GOP-controlled States; and a full-fledged war against women, poorly disguised as a "pro-life" movement. We still have a long way to go.

ADAM SANDLER

Billy Madison: Shef is really becoming a big kid. He is enthusiastic about learning, and is a hard-core rocker in training. He likes to style his hair to be spiky in front and has taken up snowboarding. It's so much fun to watch his personality develop. I'm crossing my fingers for "rocking, rebel, daredevil who nonetheless loves homework, respects his parents and obeys the law."

You Don't Mess With The Zohan: Shef is growing up so fast! At some point in the last few months, when I tuck him in at night and tell him I love him, he started responding with: "okay." Sigh. [closed circuit to Mom and Dad: I love you guys].

MATTHEW MCCONNAUGHEY

Reign of Fire: Mac is a physical kid and is also a younger brother. As a result of both, he is very much into sports and active play. It was really fun to watch him play soccer this year. He has also taken up skiing, and continues to impress people with his ability to knock the skin off the ball at the plate.

Fool's Gold: Mac. Hates. To. Sleep.

SANDRA BULLOCK

Speed: KC, I think, has had a great 2011. She basically held the entire family together while also going through a major career transition, and came through it all on top (as always). This was a low-to-high year for our family, and KC was the glue.

Speed 2: Cruise Control: KC had to be the glue for the entire family this year while also going through a major career change. How about we declare 2012 the year where Mama gets to just chillax?

NATALIE PORTMAN

Beautiful Girls: I made a much-overdue and much-needed career change. I am really happy about it.

Where The Heart Is: I am definitely getting older. A few weeks ago, I hurt my back while doing nothing in particular with my back. It was kind of like my back saw me not using it and was like, oh yeah? I'll teach you not to ignore me like that! How about some searing pain for no reason at all?!!? Now that I have reached the age of 37, I am definitely more focused on the frailty of man and how truly precious and fleeting life is. I recognize that my best years are behind me, and that I have almost nothing left to live for. Nevertheless, to combat this kind-of-new-found elderly-ness, I have started an exercise regimen that has me feeling better than I have in quite a while (except for my stupid back, which I hate), and am looking forward to becoming an active senior citizen.

* * *

So that's a wrap! It was a good run, 2011, but don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out! Bring on 2012, and here's hoping that your silver linings are attached to really small clouds. Happy New Year, bitches.

*btw, that pie thing actually happened. My poor Mom, who makes excellent pies, just forgot to put the sugar in once. I, unfortunately, was the first to try the pie, and it was more bitter than Paul Ryan whenever government-sponsored health care saves someone's life. But, Mom just added sugar to the pie through the holes in the top crust, and it turned out great! This was probably about 20-25 years ago, and is still a regular topic of conversation at all family gatherings.

...and Thorns

2011-12-31T07:43:00.000-08:00

Today, my thorn is Republicans. It's hard to choose specific thorns given how many there are, but I will go with a sampling of particular types of Republicans (and, I will acknowledge that none of these HAVE to be Republicans, but there is a strong correlation):

1. Global warming/climate change deniers. I truly don't get it. It's some bizarre mixture of blind support of anything that is "good for business" (i.e. avoiding any responsibility for polluting the environment), blind rejection of anything "liberal" (i.e. anything to do with protecting the environment) and blind faith in inherently untrustworthy and awful people (i.e. Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, etc.). So we do nothing to prevent the horrible effects of climate change and anytime it snows in September these morons all have a good laugh about how fat Al Gore is.

2. War on Christmas believers. Every Christmas, I hear all sorts of crap from people who take offense at the idea that someone might wish them "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas." They bemoan the fact that public displays during the holidays tend to include both Christmas and Chanukah themes (the horror!). They even get their knickers in a twist over the fact that there was no tree in President Obama's "Holiday card." Seriously. Still, though, you have to give them credit. They are the only ones who recognize that the true meaning of Christmas is forcing your beliefs on people of other faiths and destroying all references to any other religious holidays that may or may not be taking place at around the same time. Morons.

3. "Values voters." I really hate that they get to be called "values voters." But I doubt that the more accurate "sanctimonious pricks" will ever find its way into the national lexicon. There are lots of reasons why these people are thorns, but it's particularly on display right now as the GOP presidential hopefuls are closing out their arguments to the Iowa caucus-goers - who happen to be particularly prone to sanctimonious prick-ism. Consider that Rick Santorum - a guy who thinks and talks about gay sex more than anyone on the planet - is surging in the Iowa polls despite polling at around 4% nationally. The only thing to admire about the "values voters" is their tolerance for hypocrisy (just weeks ago, after all, a thrice-divorced, serial adulterer was their candidate of choice).

But that's enough negativity for one day. It's New Year's Eve, and we have a lot to look forward to in 2012. Also, I only need one more post to wrap up this challenge, so things are really looking up!

Roses...

2011-12-30T16:23:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that I never did a post in response to SavvyMom's post about me.

Obviously, SavvyMom is quite a rose for us all. And, just so that I can outdo her three things about me that she likes, here are FOUR things about SavvyMom that make her such a rose:

1. KC loves to learn new things. A few years ago, she decided to learn about cooking, and can now whip up a delicious meal out of nothing (read: ingredients) without even a cookbook. I have yet to stump her with a question like: What does "julianne" mean? Is the flame on the stove too high? and What is bock choy? She also took up triathlons, and learned all about biking and swimming to get ready (of course, she did great). Basically, I don't know of a single thing she has decided to do in the whole time I have known her that she hasn't succeeded at (including landing yours truly as a husband!).

2. KC really likes people. KC remembers everything about everyone and is genuinely interested in them and their families. She has and maintains friends from all phases of her life and is constantly meeting new people. This is in sharp contrast with me. The last new person I met was KC. I liked her so much, I decided to call it a day. Seriously, though, KC has the ability to bring a seemingly endless number of people into her circle of friends. And, really, why wouldn't you want to be friends with her?
3. KC is an incredibly dedicated and talented teacher. I have almost known KC as long as she has been a teacher. In that time, she has taught several grade levels at four different schools and has excelled everywhere she has been. Nothing, I think, is more a testament to this than what she has left behind. In Bloomington, for example, she helped to create an entire unit about citizenship and responsibility in honor of her uncle, which culminates in a Day of Service that continues to this day - years after she left. In Edina, she pioneered a blended learning curriculum that was wildly successful and really changed the entire high school (for the better, IMHO). She is really good at her job, and I am very proud of her many and continued successes.

4. KC is my best friend. Were I not already married to her, I would encourage all of you to go ahead and marry her since it's so awesome. But I am. So you can't. You can be friends with her, though (see #1 and 3 above).

So that's KC. A definite rose.

...and Thorns

2011-12-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

As today was a pretty good day, I am actually kind of hard-pressed to find a thorn. But I did have to go to Best Buy twice today because when I went to go pick up my Rose, I forgot to also get AA batteries for Shef.

This cost me nearly 10 extra minutes at the end of my day.

But, all-in-all, things really could have been worse.

And, could I have just put this blog post with the previous blog post? Yes! But we're nearing the end of this Blogging Challenge, and I need several most posts in the next few days, so I broke this up into two separate posts (that's great blogging and strategery!)

Roses...

2011-12-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I got the best Christmas present ever:

I cannot conceive of a scenario under which this is not the best movie in the history of movies. (And look at all the ways I can watch it! I don't have a 3D Blu-ray player (or a 3D TV either), but I look forward to watching it on my regular Blu-Ray and then using my electronic copy when I am on the go so I can watch it on my iPad, phone or laptop. When I want to remember what it was like in the olden days, I will watch it on DVD).

Our Connected World

2011-12-26T19:32:00.000-08:00

So, one embarrassing thing I do is that I compete in the Top Chef Facebook Quickfire challenge.

Basically, they come up with a theme for the week and ask people to submit pictures of their cooking on that theme for a chance to be featured as the week's Facebook Quickfire challenge winner on their Facebook page.

Since I both watch the show and tend to take pictures of everything I cook, this challenge is right up my alley. I haven't won yet, but here's hoping.

The thing is, though, that I didn't realize that all of my Facebook friends would be able to see it when I posted pictures of my cooking to the Top Chef page's wall. I guess I don't really understand the internets. Anyway, it's kind of embarrassing to be trying to win a stupid Top Chef Facebook challenge in the first place. It's even worse, though, when your Facebook friends see these random pictures of food that you are cooking on Facebook. I assume they all wonder why I am posting a picture of food I cooked for no apparent reason.

Anyway, I am going to keep competing, because my dream is to be featured as the winner one week (mainly because it will allow me to brag about that time I won on Top Chef, which will really annoy KC). So, my Facebook friends can look forward to random posts from me of food I cooked and I will just have to get over being embarrassed about it.

Today, I'm...

2011-12-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

...loving my new grill pan. I can now cook 6 lbs. of steak at once! This means great things for The Meal in the days and weeks to come.

Check it out:

Pretty bad?!?Still, though, lots of parties over the last few days has me feeling somewhat more cholesterol-y than usual, so we may have to throttle down on the red meat/wine consumption for a bit. It's nice to know, though, that I have the capability to ratchet back up once my heart is a tad healthier and my waistline a tad smaller and I'm ready to get back in the game.

(I also apologize for all the coming posts. I have 7 to go and just a few days to get 'er done before The Challenge is over.)

Dreaming of a White Christmas

2011-12-25T14:28:00.000-08:00

It's always fun to get outside and play in the snow on Christmas Day. Maybe do some sledding or build a snowman or something like that. We had to tweak the tradition somewhat this year because it apparently no longer snows in Minnesota during the Winter (thanks, Republicans!). So, here's another addition of Macball for your viewing pleasure (the kid's still got it!):

It's a bit bright what with our new tropical sun burning like white-hot magma spit from H-e-double-hockey-sticks itself, but otherwise, the videos turned out well.

Deck the Halls, bitches!

2011-12-24T14:40:00.001-08:00

I bought a bunch of new lights to string up outside the house. I imagined it being a tad more impressive. KC, in fact, is not impressed at all. Still, I think it is whimsical and has a "designed-by-a-third-grader" look to it, that will probably make most people assume that it wasn't entirely my work.

Anywho, Merry Christmas, y'all! And, if you don't celebrate Christmas, then have a good weekend!

Fergawdsakes

2011-12-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

Am I taking crazy pills, or did the House Republicans just block a frickin' middle-class tax cut at frickin' Christmas?!?

Honestly, if President Obama proposed a bill to outlaw abortion, make English the official language of the United States and require all homosexuals to attend Michele Bachmann's husband's un-gay yourself camp Republicans would block it because it didn't also mandate oil drilling in the Grand Canyon and provide free automatic weapons to toddlers.

Pardon my French, but what the H-E-double hockey sticks is wrong with these people?!?!?

Lifting the fog of war

2011-12-19T20:09:00.000-08:00

In the last couple of days, the last U.S. troops in Iraq have left the country and are on their way home.

I think at this point, there are few left who think that this war was a good idea. There are some who defend the original premise of the war, who believe that the Bush administration objectively weighed the available evidence and decided that invading Iraq was the right thing to do. There are more who defend the war based on the idea that we should not leave - either because of purported concerns about what will happen when we are gone or on the misguided belief that the only way to justify the war itself and to honor the thousands of Americans who have given their lives in service as a result of the war is to stay the course until we reach a more comfortable level of "success" than we have now. Still others will defend the war based on the fact that a Democrat ended it.

In the end, though, there can be no real dispute that the war itself was a failed experiment. You can defend the premise (if you believe that the Bush Doctrine was a valid premise), but you can't defend the results. We never found any weapons of mass destruction. None of the other purported reasons for the war really matter. That was how it was sold. And it was wrong.

The other thing, though, is that the relative merits of the mission aside, more than one million servicemen and servicewomen spent months and years in harms way in this war. They served us honorably and well. They deserve our respect and admiration. I have been thinking about this lately. It is kind of a hard thing to oppose a war and also avoid appearing as though you also oppose the troops. I think that's because so many who support unjust wars use the troops as a way to chill substantive debate on the merits of the war the troops are fighting. This, to me, is one of the most damning legacies of the Bush administration. Those troops now need our support more than ever. They are injured, they need jobs, and they need help. I don't have any particular organizations in mind, but there are many dedicated to helping veterans come home. You should find one of those organizations and support them if you want to.

Best wrong number ever

2011-12-18T06:51:00.001-08:00

So the phone rang just now. I answered and the guy on the other end said, "Is this Danny?"

Not having been called "Danny" since middle school, I was a bit taken aback, but, technically, I was Danny, so I answered in the affirmative. Just to be sure, I asked, "Are you looking for Danny West?" "Yes," the guy on the other line assured me. Then he said this:

"Sorry to be calling you so early, but I was wondering if we could do some pheasant hunting down by the slough?"

Hmmm.

A slough, the internets tell me, is an area of soft, muddy ground. Presumably, that's where pheasants like to chillax. I looked in the backyard and saw that it clearly did not meet the definition of a slough. Also, local laws prohibit hunting in the middle of the city. So, I informed the caller that he had the wrong number, and he apologized and hung up to call the correct, slough-having Danny West so that he could kill some birds this morning.

And I got a quick blog post.

13 To Go

2011-12-14T18:39:00.000-08:00

I guess this blogging challenge is pretty tough! It's harder than I thought to blog 30 times between mid-November and the end of the year.

But on we press, because if we aren't blogging, what would the internets be?

Today it was 40 degrees and rained. In December. Last year, we had 17 inches of snow on the ground. It looked like this.

Every time it snows or gets cold during a time that it's usually warm, lots of dumbasses like to make dumbass jokes about how global warming doesn't exist. They do this because they are dumbasses. Oddly, though, these same dumbasses react to abnormally warm days in traditionally cold periods by talking about gay marriage or tax cuts for the wealthy or some other stupid crap.

Still, it's nice sometimes when it's warm. I'd like to see some snow, though.

Twitter (the reprise)

2011-12-13T19:28:00.000-08:00

Further to my post about not getting Twitter, I have been trying to get more into tweeting (or is that "Tweeting"? The internets are tough!).

You can see the results of my efforts if you look this way (<--).

As you will see, I have largely concentrated my efforts on local sports talk radio personalities. I can't say for certain that Twitter was started just for them, but I feel confident that they have completely taken it over. They also Tweet a lot, which makes it fun to follow them. I am still feeling fairly foolish for actually sending Tweets to them because they are famous radio personalities and I am just some dumbass with a Twitter account. However, having perused Twitter a fair amount of late, I am convinced that there is no intelligence requirement for joining, so I guess I just need to get comfortable sending Tweets to famous people.

Also, I know for a fact that you might actually get a response since one of my friends was "re-Tweeted" by one of the KFan guys ("re-Tweeting" is when you take a Tweet and then Tweet it again. Having typed that, I am not sure it was a term that required any further definition, but deleting text takes too long, so I'll keep it in). So, I aspire to that honor.

I kind of think I still don't get Twitter, though.

In the spirit of the Holiday

2011-12-12T18:33:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is decorating the tree. In fact, I like it so much, I usually do it twice - once in my house and then again at my parents' house.

With a few random new additions, the average age of the ornaments my parents have is about 35 years. This includes what we call "breakable balls" (because they break easily - get it?) that are so old, the color is flaking off in probably lead-lined chunks as well as these weird styrofoam-y bird things that are a tad creepy in their advancing age. It also includes some treasured ornaments made by us kids when we were younger.

And by "us kids," I mean only Sarah and not any from me or John. I haven't talked to John about this yet, but I am fairly sure that he didn't make it through elementary school without producing at least one ornament. And I know that I made some in my day as well. So why were Sarah's the only ones to make the cut in my parents' quasi-hoarder-esque collection of ornaments? Favoritism? Mean-spiritedness? Probably.

Anyway, I learned about this travesty a few years back when I went over to help my parents decorate their tree after a many-year break (and don't even get me started about the time that one of my brother's friends appeared more times in my parents' Christmas card than I did which happened at around the same time). Naturally, I did what anyone in their mid-thirties would do: I made a competing ornament and have insisted that it be prominently featured on their tree every Christmas since.

See if you can spot it (and look for my mom as well (hi, Mom!):

Didn't see it? Here's a closer look:

It's hard to see Sarah's ornaments because, for some reason they seem to always end up on the back of the tree, but here's a nice comparison of the old and the new.

I think you'll agree that even though she was much younger than I was when I made mine, hers are not too bad. Also, I think it is important to note that the only people who are at fault here are my parents. Sarah did nothing wrong and is really only a necessary casualty in this very important war. A war that I have now won.

And isn't that what Christmas is all about?

I don't really get Twitter

2011-12-08T19:01:00.001-08:00

It seems like I'm the only one who doesn't really get Twitter. @thesavvymom gets it. As does @DailyRos.

But I don't.

I mean, I understand the concept of posting things on the internets. Also, I get that you are limited to 140 characters if you want to post to Twitter. The thing I don't get is how to use Twitter.

First, I tried to use it to follow celebrities. But then I found out that many of the celebrities I like are either not that interesting or super annoying. Then, I followed politicians. But that was even worse. News tweeters tweet too much. Funny tweeters tweet too little. So I gave up.

Now, though, in an attempt to find something to blog about, I am trying Twitter again. I now pretty much only follow my friends and guys from the local sports talk station. Also, as you can see if you look to your left, I am tweeting myself. My 24 followers are thrilled about this.

Seriously, though, I would like to know how to use Twitter. So I ask you, the internets, to tell me how you use it. Who do you follow? Why? If people get into a "Twitter war," how do you follow it?

It's getting to that time in the challenge...

2011-12-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

...where I don't necessarily have anything to blog about but I blog anyway. [Insert joke about how that's the only kind of blog I do. Haha! You got me with that one! Very funny, asshole.]

Anyway, my afternoon meeting got done early so I went home early and went for a run around the lake.

That's about it. I mean, it's kind of bada$$ to run outside in the winter, but it was about 30 degrees and not all that slippery, so it really wasn't that hard to do and obviously does not make for great blogging. Just wait until it gets really cold and then I run in NEGATIVE degrees, though. Then I will REALLY have something to blog about!

Stay tuned...

Who could have predicted...

2011-12-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

...that this would not be a fantastic wine?

I mean, it's got a PLATINUM rating, people!

SEE?!?!?

Color me surprised.

Not my best morning

2011-12-02T18:59:00.000-08:00

I made five unforced errors between my alarm going off and getting to the gym at work for my morning run. See if you can find them (there are also some non-unforced-error examples of bad parenting mixed in as well - those are bonus points)!

6:15: Alarm goes off.

6:15-6:45: Multiple snoozes pressed.

6:45: KC finds me still sleeping at 6:45. Problems ensue.

6:45-7:00: Shave, brush teeth, put on workout clothes, select work clothes (jeans day at work!).

7:00-7:45: Feed Mac breakfast, clean kitchen, surf the internets for some God-only-knows-what-reason.

7:45: Realize it's 7:45 and start trying to get Mac to put his clothes on.

7:45-7:58: Continue trying to get Mac to put his clothes on.

7:58: Brush Mac's teeth.

8:00 Get Mac into his winter gear and head out to school.

8:00:15: Realize I forgot to pack Mac's lunch.

8:00:15-8:05: Pack Mac's lunch.

8:07: Leave for school.

8:07:15: Realize I locked my keys in the house.

8:08: FInd spare key and go back into house to get car keys.

8:09: Drive Mac to school.

8:16: Leave Mac at school and head to work.

8:30: Pull into parking lot at work and realize my parking lot pass is in the trunk. Execute U-turn.

8:32: Retrieve pass and enter parking lot. Park car and head to gym.

8:35: Get to locker room and realize that I forgot my work clothes in my car.

8:35-8:45: Go get clothes from car and walk back to gym. Regular morning commences about 30 minutes later than usual.

Today I'm thinking about...

2011-11-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

...The Republican Presidential field.

Obama has serious problems. Things aren't great in this country right now. Obama isn't to blame for much of it, but he has failed to really push for programs that would make things better. And he has been way too willing to concede ground to the Republicans whose ideas are terrible and whose motives are suspect.

On purely political terms, this is a President who could legitimately be targeted for defeat. I'm no political scientist (I mean, I majored in political science in college and so am, therefore, actually, I guess, a political scientist) but in this situation, doesn't it make sense to send out the varsity team to take him down?

Yet look at at the people who are in the hunt for the GOP nomination for president right now.

Really.

Rick Perry: Doesn't know the voting age in America; Doesn't even know what three government agencies he would eliminate if elected; Sometimes appears to have lost his marbles.

Herman Cain: A guy who is perhaps lucky that the multiple allegations of sexual misconduct and infidelity are actually distracting from the fact that he knows nothing about non Sim-City-related fiscal policy, and even less about foreign policy (despite his almost daily one-page briefings).

Mitt Romney: A guy who has flip-flopped on everything from abortion to healthcare to Reagan to immigration in an attempt to appeal to voters and who, in the end, appeals to almost nobody.

Newt Gingrich: A thrice-married, serial adulterer who resigned the House Speakership after a kind-of-disastrous reign and has since made money by whoring himself out to anyone who would pay and nominating strippers for business-leader awards (for a fee).

Michele Bachmann. Michele Bachmann!

WTF?!? It's looking like either Gingrich or Romney, but honestly, who could step up? Is this a party completely lacking in leaders? Who am I missing? Where's the legitimate candidate? Given how hum-drum Obama has been, what a gift it is that the opposing party is comprised entirely of has-beens, morally compromised candidates and morons.

New slogan: Obama 2012! Are you honestly going to vote for anyone else?

Doe. Mess. Tick.

2011-11-29T18:36:00.000-08:00

Today, I was totally domestic.

I came up with the idea to use the leftover steak from Sunday's meal and turn it into steak fajitas. Brilliant, right?

But that's not all! I went to the grocery store and got the fajita fixins. And I used the Cooking Light app on my phone to pick out tomorrow's meal (pork tenderloin with peppers, garlic mashed potatoes and peas) and then got the ingredients for that as well.

And if that wasn't enough, when I got home, I made the fajitas! Then I did the dishes!

CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?!?!?

Father. Of. The. Year.

Today I'm...

2011-11-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

...Thinking about Rep. Barney Frank, who announced his retirement today. Whenever I talk about "more and better Democrats," people like Barney Frank are who I'm thinking about. He has a zillion great moments, but here he is, telling Bill O'Reilley off and being a fantastic representative for the people:

Thank you, Rep. Frank. Don't ever stop being you.

This guy is one of a few reasons I have hope for us as a society. Thank you for your service, sir.

This Sunday

2011-11-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

Today, I fixed my last post, which was poorly done from the iPad.

Also, the Vikings lost, but that's okay. The Vikings are kind of both a rose and a thorn. They are a rose in that I am a huge fan and really like being a fan. They are a thorn in that they suck.

Nevertheless, they are my team. And that's just how that goes.

I will say that I enjoy listening to the game on the radio on the way back from the Dells thanks to Paul Allen - a great play-by-play guy and self-anointed great football mind.

That last sentence reminds me of one of my favorite poems:

The pointy birds.
A pointy, pointy
Anoint my head.
A nointy, nointy.

It's better seen than read:

Today I...

2011-11-26T15:21:00.000-08:00

...did this:

Well that's not me, but I went on that slide. A dream vacation in the Dells if there ever was one:

Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all!

2011-11-24T16:19:00.003-08:00

We hosted our first Thanksgiving today. Things went well, and we had a great time. So much to be thankful for!

The kids were excited for the party to start:

The house cleaned up nice:

The turkey prep went smoothly:

The Heritage Turkey experiment was a success:

As was the cranberry sauce (actually jelly). HOLLA!

The rest of the meal was pretty good as well:

The kids played great together:

And it ended the way all Thanksgiving dinners should:

(Truth be told, this was Mac before dinner even started, but he was pretty much the same after, except completely asleep, so I think it's okay to use it as an "after" pic).

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was as great as ours!

Fingers Crossed

2011-11-23T19:39:00.001-08:00

Today, I made the cranberry sauce for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner. I also learned that what we have always called "cranberry sauce" is probably actually known as "cranberry jelly," but whatever.

As KC so nicely pointed out the other night, I haven't actually done a "great" job making the cranberry sauce the last few years. It's supposed to be a firm, jell-o-like mold of cranberry, but mine usually turns out to be more of a soupy (albeit delicious) cranberry drink. I hope to do better this year. Here's how it works:

Step one: Assemble ingredients and pour a glass of wine:

Step two: Add cinnamon sticks, cloves, salt and boil the cranberries until they split (doesn't this look great? Quick aside: One of my "bucket list" items is to see a cranberry bog. I think it would be awesome).

Step three: Run the cranberries through your Foley Food Mill, add 3.5 cups of sugar and bring to a rolling boil for 5-15 minutes (for extra fun, try setting your timer for 15 hours instead of 15 minutes and then freak out 16 minutes in).

Step four: Pray.

Whether these turn out or not, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays and we're really looking forward to tomorrow. I'm sure I will repeat this in tomorrow's post, but Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Today I...

2011-11-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

...picked up my first ever Heritage Turkey. Heritage Turkeys are turkeys raised like the turkeys that were around back at the first Thanksgiving. They have lot more dark meat and are gamier. I dont know if "gamier" is a word, but you get my point. Anyway, ever since I heard about these turkeys several years ago, I have wanted to get one, and now it is almost certain that the experience will not live up to expectations.

But aside from the probably awesome taste (we have also purchased a regular turkey just in case. And a couple of frozen pizzas just in case, just in case), I also like the sustainability aspect of purchasing a Heritage Turkey. Not because it helps the environment or anything, but more because it means that if you did not purchase a Heritage Turkey that was locally grown, I can condescend to you. Just like Prius owners (hi, Dad and John!) and people without TVs who can't shut up about how they don't have TVs.

Here's where our turkey comes from (quoting from the Cooks of Crocus Hill pamphlet):

CALLISTER FARM (West Concord, MN). Lori and Alan Callister have been raising poultry for over 24 years on their sixth generation family farmstead. They raise their birds without any medications, hormones or artificial anything in large, roomy barns with daily access to outdoors. They process the animals on site to ensure high quality standards and exceptional freshness....

More about them here.

That's kind of cool, I think.

Unless, of course, the Heritage Turkey sucks, in which case I hate those hippies.

This happened today

2011-11-21T18:57:00.000-08:00

I was stopped at a red light while driving Shef home from school and the street light directly above us went out.

No lie.

This happens to me a lot. When I drive under street lights, they go out. Also, I am prone to getting (or is it to "get" - English is so hard!) electric shocks. Really bad ones. The kind that leave your hand tingling for several minutes afterwards. It was especially bad at my old, old law firm. I would actually ground myself as I walked through the office so as to keep the shocks to a manageable level. One time, in college, I was wearing fleece pants (big mistake for both electricity and fashion-related reasons) and went to turn on a friend's stereo and got shocked so bad that I fell backwards onto the couch. Almost every time I open the trunk of my car, I get shocked. I can't figure out a non-painful way to absorb the shock and it usually goes directly into the tip of my finger, which is the worst kind. When I was at Best Buy two weekends ago, I handed the cashier my credit card and shocked him so bad that he said: "You shocked me!" I said: "Sorry." We have some lights in our house that are on dimmer switches. Some of them kind of buzz at certain levels of dimness. They freak me out because I can only imagine how much electricity is in there, just waiting until I foolishly slide across the carpet in my bare feet to turn the buzzing light off to figuratively kill me.

And by "figuratively" I mean "literally." (Fun grammar fact: I have heard that you're supposed to put the period outside of the quotation marks for any quote that is not a full phrase or a specific part of the sentence, but I think periods look really stupid outside of quotation marks and so I disregard this rule (if it, in fact, exists) since it is better to look good than to be smart). Also, that paragraph above this one seemed like it should have been broken up somehow. But I think it works even if it's bad prose. Bad prose, after all, is generally great blogging!

For a while, I thought that my weird personal electric field also caused cars' headlights to go out, but then someone told me that the reason cars' headlights seemed to always go out when I passed them was that the headlight was already out and the driver was probably using his or her brights and was turning them off as they passed me, which meant that the bad headlight would go dark. Other than that situation, though, I clearly have some sort of ability to affect electric fields around me. If there were a way to foil crime by electrically shocking oneself, then I would be the world's most powerful super hero.

Ironing (and blogging challenge update)

2011-11-20T21:50:00.000-08:00

Today, I did my ironing. This is, obviously, not going to be a great blog post. I think that I am a really good ironer. My clothes always look neatly pressed when I am done, which I think is about the only way to measure whether an ironing effort has been successful or not.

Sadly, though, I am also a very slow ironer (hence this very late blog post). I can't seem to figure out a way to make myself faster at ironing. I will work on this.

Also, blogging challenge update!

I think that the challenge should be 30 posts between yesterday (when the challenge began) and new years. Same rules otherwise, but I don't think that forcing everyone to blog every day from yesterday until new years is in keeping with the "calm-til-Christmas" vibe of the challenge. Of course, feel free to blog more than 30 times if you want to. But the challenge is now 30.

Okay, that's a wrap! I need to post this now because it's only 4 minutes until tomorrow and I don't want to fall behind under the old rules.

Thaaa-horn.

2011-11-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

Date purchase agreement signed on new home: November 1, 2011

Date boiler failed: November 19, 2011.

(Also, coincidently, the first snowfall of the season was today. Isn't it funny how the first time we really needed the boiler, it stopped working? I mean, not funny "ha-ha," but more funny "Son of a B!" It's like how as soon as the winter slushy-mud-on-the-windshield season begins, your windshield wipers break. Except that you could buy about 45,000 wiper blades for what it will cost us to fix the boiler).

I am SO suing the former owners of this house as soon as they come back from their vacation. Y'all about to get served! (p.s., Hi, Mom and Dad! Hope you're having a great time on vacay! See you at Thanksgiving!)

So that's my thorn for the day.

Blogging Challenge!!!

2011-11-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, people. It's time to get this thing going. I was kind of thinking of trying the alphabet challenge again (it's my favorite), but since we already did that again this year, I thought I would steal another idea from LH (thanks, LH!) and riff off of the "Calm-Til-Christmas" theme, and also combine it with the Obama's Roses and Thorns game (which we have adopted in our home as well).

As I understand it, LH's "Calm Til Christmas" initiative involves trying to stay calm until, at least, Christmas.

The "Roses and Thorns" game involves going around the table at family dinner and telling about one good thing and one challenging thing about your day.

In the interests of staying calm and merging the themes, though, I think we will just go with telling something about your day - this involves both sharing (a la Roses and Thorns) but does not need to involve talking about anything bad (a la Staying Calm). Each day. From now until New Years (for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas). And by "now," I mean this coming Saturday, after everyone has had a chance to declare whether they are in or out.

I'm in! Who else???

Here's what a typical post could look like:

Tuesday, November 15, 2011:

Today, I read a very funny tweet (Twitter is kind of my go-to place for phone-it-in blogging challenge posts). It looked a little something like this:

Knowing as many teachers as I do, I can say with certainty that the dipshit who coined this phrase was almost certainly (1) a Republican; (2) someone who was born on third and thought he hit a triple; and (3) a moron.

Still, I thought the tweet was funny. Kind of like "when they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?"

Chicken Milanese with Tomato and Fennel Sauce a la ProntoPup

2011-11-07T18:44:00.001-08:00

Okay, internets - pop quiz:

Which one of these dishes was prepared by an award-winning celebrity chef and which one was made by this guy?

Dish #1:

Dish #2:

Give up? Here's a helpful key showing that Dish #2 was mine, and Dish #1 was Giada's:

Clearly Giada didn't add enough sauce, and takes a somewhat more conservative approach to the fennel-garnish-to-actual-food ratio. But that's just the difference between our respective takes on this classic Italian dish. I'm sure her version was good too, though.

I can see Uranus

2011-11-03T20:15:00.001-07:00

Well, sad as it is, I think I can honestly say that one of my proudest moments as a parent thus far has been seeing this solar system project by Shef:

Really, though, just look at it up close:

I can see your anus. Get it?!?

I didn't even help him with his homework. He just did that. That's a good son.

Some fodder in case you get in a debate with Republicans

2011-11-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

I have been hearing a lot lately about how the current financial crisis was actually caused by the Government (i.e., Democrats) forcing banks to give housing loans to high-risk people and not by the financial industry's recklessness and greed.

I was shocked (shocked!) to find out that, apparently, this is an easily-debunked argument that has, in fact, been debunked a bunch of times. This is what has come to be known as a "zombie lie," because despite repeated debunkings, it refuses to die.

Anyway, you should read this (and the links in it) to arm yourself against any Republican you hear repeating this lie.* But essentially, it comes down to this: The program that Republicans are talking about actually has encouraged responsible loans being made to lower and middle-income families. Very few of these loans (about a third) qualify as "subprime," but the program has a very low default rate regardless of the subprime loans. In other words, it's a good program - even for borrowers who would otherwise qualify as "high risk."

The problem is that for people who are simply wired to distrust the poor as "lazy" and venerate the wealthy as "virtuous and hard-working," it's easy to buy into the idea that a government-sponsored program to facilitate home loans for people who would otherwise have a hard time qualifying for one is a "liberal plot" to force banks to make loans to "undesirables" that they would never otherwise have made. These people have either never heard - or, more likely, have heard and then simply chosen to disregard - that it was private entities chasing profits who drove the subprime lending craze and the subsequent credit default swaps and other financial-type thingys that caused this mess, and not the successful government program to encourage homeownership for low and middle-income Americans.

I really shouldn't watch Maddow.

*I recognize the possibility that someone who is not a Republican may buy into this argument as well, but it's really a Republican talking-point, and Republicans are the ones who have made it a "zombie lie," so it's probably going to be a Republican that you hear making this argument.

Trick or Treat, y'all

2011-10-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Another successful Halloween for us this year. Shef was a Death Eater and Mac was a reluctant Superman ("Why is everyone calling me Superman?" he asked me indignantly while we were out):

Shef and his friends really covered a lot of territory this year and he has about four pounds of candy, which should last him at least to the weekend.

We live in a particularly good neighborhood for trick-or-treating. A lot of houses get really into the holiday and decorate like crazy - not in a competitive way, just very festive and fun.

Here are a couple of key takeaways: (1) No matter how cool spooky houses look in the daytime, your three-year-old does not actually want to trick-or-treat at them when it is dark out; (2) Visiting the house with real people walking around in the yard wearing full-on Frankenstein gear with the theme music from the "Halloween" movies blaring and spooky lights flashing is a great way to convince your three-year-old to call it a night and head back home; and (3) no matter how much money you spend on lavish gifts for your children, you will never be remembered as fondly as those few people handing out full-size candy bars on Halloween.

We did pretty well with the decorations this year, I think - not a show-stopper, but a respectable, workmanlike effort:

We also did a bang-up job on our pumpkins. Shef and Mac had a carving party with their friends, Maggie, Ellie and Sam, and they all did a great job directing their parents on how they wanted their pumpkins to look:

I had a bit of carver's block, and really couldn't decide what direction to go in. I knew there was a Jack-O-Lantern in my pumpkin somewhere, but I just couldn't find it:

Eventually, I went with the old standby, and used my pumkanvas (Get it? It's "pumpkin" and "canvas" mixed together to form a brand new word! Just like Sarah Palin and Shakespeare!! (that's great blogging!)) to send a message I have been thinking about a lot lately to folks out there who may need it:

I'm happy with the result, but maybe next year, I'll go with something more Halloween-y.

Anywho, happy Halloween to you and yours, and here's hoping for a low Almond-Joy/Mounds-Bar-to-Snickers ratio for everyone!

This Is What The Internets Were Invented For (a new ProntoPup Bit!)

2011-10-29T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am launching my first ever recurring bit on ProntoPup! I am calling it "This Is What The Internets Were Invented For." Basically, I find something cool on the internets, post it here and vicariously take credit for the work of others (that's great blogging!).

One of my favorite things about the internets is how they give people an outlet for creativity - it's like a worldwide episode of America's Got Talent, but without the Hoff!

If I hadn't already blogged about it so many times, I would use the Antwerp flash mob dance as the kick off to this exciting new bit. So instead, here's a kid recreating Herb Brook's pep talk before the Miracle on Ice. Simultaneously gives me chills and makes me laugh:

Definitely what the internets were invented for.

Democracy, bitches!

2011-10-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

Hey, looks like the Republicans are engaged in Job-Creation-Related Program-Activities.

And if I told you that the new "jobs" plan was to make government contractor fraud easier and pay for it by slashing healthcare for elderly poor people, would you believe me? If you're a loyal reader of this blog (hi, Mom!), of course you would. Because it's true.

It's frustrating when wretched, amoral assholes do things that are bad for the country, pretend it's good for the country and get away with it (which the GOP will).

It's infuriating when the GOP gets away with this crap because of President Obama's pathological need to pre-negotiate with people who are pathologically incapable of negotiating with him. But that's what happened here.

If you don't want to click through to the links, here's what happened: President Obama proposed a jobs bill that contained many good things, but also contained many bad things - generally GOP ideas - in order to make the case that the Republicans should vote for the bill because it was a bipartisan mixture of ideas. The GOP filibusterd it. Then President Obama and the Democrats introduced a bill to put (or keep) teachers, police and firefighters on the job by taxing really, really, really rich people. The GOP filibustered it. Then, the GOP combined a completely ineffective "job creation" measure from the original bill (eliminating the withholding of funds from government contractors to ensure compliance with tax laws) and payed for it with one of the most cruel and regressive aspects of the original bill (reducing Medicare benefits for sick, old people). Then, the White House, completely hamstrung by the fact that it was stupid enough to make those proposals in the first place, was "forced" to come out in support of an ineffective "jobs" bill that the GOP can campaign on saying that they were able to forge bipartisan compromise while all of Obama's "liberal" policies failed.

So, nothing good happened, the GOP will take credit for non-existent benefits and the Democrats will take the blame for being ineffective while things get worse because of the things that the GOP did.

Democracy!

Much like being a Minnesota sports fan, it can be hard to be a Democrat.

Time for another post on this crappy blog

2011-10-25T19:46:00.001-07:00

One thing I think it's important to remember when thinking about the modern Republican party is that this woman was considered a viable candidate for President until THIS MONTH, despite her stunning lack of competence:

It's also important to remember that the current front-runner for the GOP nomination took his awful tax "policy" from SimCity.

There are many very good people who are also Republicans, but the party itself right now is truly a hideous organization doing terrible things and led by unscrupulous people who are often also morons.

Clearly, I shouldn't watch Maddow anymore. It just bums my shit out.

Bad Lip Reading

2011-10-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

I don't find new stuff on the internets, and am usually pretty late to the party on new fads. This is probably no exception, but I just found the Bad Lip Reading videos, and they are awesome (at least the ones I have seen - I disavow any and all knowledge of any horribly offensive ones that may or may not be out there). I didn't find them myself - credit goes to my friends on the Power Trip Morning Show. The Bad Lip Reading guys take clips of people and then voice over them but in a way that it makes it seem like the people are actually saying the voice-over words. I'm not describing it all that well, but I dare you to watch these and not laugh.

Mitt Romney:

Rick Perry:

Barack Obama:

This kind of stuff is why the internets were invented in the first place!

From Scratch

2011-10-12T19:36:00.001-07:00

It has been said that if you can make an apple pie from scratch, then you kick a$$. I believe that either FDR or Ke$ha said that, but it's not clear who coined the phrase first.

Regardless, however, let it not be said that the West family does not kick a$$ (wait, was that right? Double negatives are hard!).

Anywho, today, we, the West family, made an apple pie from scratch. Well, it was actually a multi-day project. Here's how it went down:

SUNDAY

Pick The Apples:

Quality Control

MONDAY

Go to Lund's and buy frozen pie crust. From scratch.

TUESDAY

No time for baking.

WEDNESDAY

Hit up the kitchen. Step one, set up the raw ingredients:

Step two, peel the apples:

Step three, realize that sharp knives are dangerous for kids (that's great parenting!):

Step four, count fingers and realize that all kids survived apple-slicing phase. Breathe sigh of relief:

Step five, fill the pie. From scratch:

Step six, kids lose interest:

Step seven, ready to bake:

Step eight, apple pie. From scratch, bitches:

Eat your heart out, Gail Simmons.

What Not To Wear*

2011-09-29T19:43:00.001-07:00

So, I recently went from a suit-and-tie environment to a "corporate casual" environment and had to do a little shopping. And, by "a little shopping," I mean that my non-suit attire was in such dire straits that, when last worn, I would literally (not figuratively) have to cut the frayed strands off the cuffs of my khakis before heading to work.

This was clearly a job for ~~Stacy and Clinton~~ my own live-in fashion guru, SavvyMom.

She took on the challenge with enthusiasm and, of course, style. While she maintains that I was something of a "difficult client," I choose to think that she is wrong and that I was quite agreeable. Since this is my blog, I can do that (that's great blogging!).

We dropped the kids with my folks and headed off to the nearest mall. Three hours later, I emerged a new man: much more stylish and much less still-having-money-in-the-bank-y. Here's the haul:

For those of you keeping score at home, that's two sweaters, two "fancy" t-shirts to wear with the sweaters, four dress shirts, one pair of slacks, two khakis, one pair of work-appropriate jeans for Fridays, one reversible belt, six pairs of socks and one pair of shoes. Not a bad day's work, I think.

*Note: Pronto Pup is not affiliated with TLC's hit show "What Not To Wear," and is using the title of that show for this blog without permission and, perhaps, in violation of state and federal laws as well as the unwritten code of fashionistas everywhere.

More like this, please...

2011-09-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

My goodness, do I heart Elizabeth Warren. My new ProntoPup Challenge (!) is for everyone to volunteer for a candidate this cycle. Not Obama (yet - watch that bridge speech, good Obama might just be back) or a Republican, obviously. But find a good candidate that inspires you somehow and give some time. It's easy now with cell phones and the internet to volunteer for a candidate in another state. Here, before the whole of all the internets and my reader (hi, Mom!), I pledge to volunteer for Elizabeth Warren. And it's because of this:

I know, right?!?!?!

Ask. Tell.

2011-09-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

We took a big step forward as a country today with the final end of the odious Don't Ask Don't Tell.

It was an almost unthinkably awful policy. Cruel, stupid and wrong.

Don't Ask Don't Tell consigned good people to lives of solitude and fear as a condition of allowing them to volunteer to put their lives on the line for their country.

Think about that.

And yet they served. In tens and hundreds of thousands. In silence and in shame. Exactly as the policy intended.

But the shame is on us for allowing this travesty to go on as long as it did. And great honor to those who chose to serve a country that so miserably failed them.

Here's Rachel Maddow's bit on the final ending of DADT. I was amazed at the courage and patriotism of those forced to serve under it and amazed by those planning to return after being ousted from the military because of it:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Big day.

Some good things

2011-09-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Senate race, Elizabeth Warren!

As one of my favorite bloggers often says, "more and better Democrats, please." Well, we can't do much better than Elizabeth Warren - a compassionate and tireless advocate for working, middle-class Americans.

~~Humongous asshats~~ Republicans blocked her from heading up the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau on account of how she would have been effective in that role and Republicans hate protecting consumers from anything other than contraceptives. I can't wait until she gets to the Senate and the same ~~asshats~~ Real Murkins that denied her confirmation have to deal with her as a colleague.

More and better Democrats, please.

Donate here.

And to Al Franken (a fantastic Democrat).

[Full disclosure: I did not donate to either of these guys yet. I will. But, if you want the world to be a better place, you should. In fact, I just decided to donate $25 to each of them right now (and by right now, I mean later when I have my credit cards handy). It's a PRONTO PUP CHALLENGE!!!! WHO CAN OUT-DONATE ME??? I'M BLOGGING AT YOU, MOM AND DAD!!!]

Z is for Zazou

2011-08-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

When I took French in school, we always chose French names, which we would go by in class. It was always fun to pick out your French name because it was a chance to show how awesome you were.

For example, if your name was John, and you chose Jean [ed. note: putting something in italics means that it's actually in French - that's great blogging!] as your French name, then you were not awesome (closed circuit to my brother John - I hope your French name wasn't Jean). Likewise, if your name was Michelle and you chose Michelle, then you are also not awesome.

Similarly, if you chose a boring name, you were not awesome (e.g., Luc, Pierre, and any Jean-hyphen-something name other than Jean-Claude VanDamme).

If, however, your name was Dan, and you chose the name Zazou, then you were awesome.

Likewise, if your name was Dan and you ironically chose the name Guy because it was so boring, but in a get-it?-my-name's-boring-but-in-an-ironic-and-somehow-cool-way, then you were also awesome. Kind of like wearing a long-sleeve shirt under a short-sleeve shirt:

And that's a wrap for the August Blogging Challenge (and, coincidentally, August itself)!

Y is for Yo

2011-08-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

Do you know who says "Yo" a lot? This guy:

Rocky IV is one of the best movies ever. Right up there with Die Hard and Wind.

And that's the letter Y.

X is for X-Men

2011-08-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

After I typed this title, I realized that X-Men was my "X" entry from the last alphabet blogging challenge. Some people would decide to come up with something new in this situation. Not me. I am going to cut and paste the old post below and then add a picture so that it qualifies for this blogging challenge (that's great blogging!):

X is for X-Men.

When I was in high school, I was pretty into comic books. This was a huge hit with the ladies and got me tons of dates.

The X-Men was one of my favorite comics to collect. Most people think that Wolverine is the coolest X-Man, but they are wrong. Gambit is the coolest.

I still have all my comics. They are all boxed up with each in a protective plastic jacket. I think the estimated value of the collection is something like $15,000. I think the actual value is the $50 I would have to pay to have someone come and haul them to the recycling center. Still, I can't quite bring myself to throw them away. I will probably give them to Shef and Mac when they get older so that they can be as cool as their old man when they get to high school.

Here's what the X-Men look like:

W is for WESAC

2011-08-29T18:55:00.001-07:00

WESAC is the local sports organization for kids in our neighborhood. I think it stands for WEst Side Athletic Club, but I can't back that up. I played WESAC sports as a kid and now my kids are playing:

V is for Varnish

2011-08-29T18:38:00.000-07:00

If you have something made of wood, like a kayak, you might want to consider using some varnish on it. Even if it's not a kayak, varnishing might be a good thing to do for various other wood things you have. But if it is a kayak, here's what it would look like with some varnish:

If you have nothing made of wood, or if all your wood things have already been varnished, then this blog post probably wasn't your favorite.

U is for Underwood

2011-08-29T18:33:00.001-07:00

I am a big fan of Carrie Underwood. I kind of get the feeling that we wouldn't like each other very much if we were to actually meet, but that doesn't stop me from listening to her music.

Last year, KC and I went with some friends (hi, Kniffens!) to see Carrie Underwood at the State Fair. We logged on to the internets to get the tickets right when they first became available, but the tickets went so fast, that we had to settle for seats that were not what I would call "close to the stage" or "worth the money we paid for them." Still, we had a nice view of the jumbotron:

T is for Today I am going to do a bunch more crappy blog posts

2011-08-29T18:25:00.001-07:00

Today was a pretty good day, all things considered. But enough about that, here is a picture of a hanging tomato plant thing that I want to get:

S is for State Fair

2011-08-28T19:07:00.001-07:00

If it's the end of Summer in Minnesota, it's State Fair time! I love the Fair. Because it's awesome. Essentially, you just eat stuff. Awesome stuff, like this:

Corn - grilled perfectly and dipped in a vat of butter:

A bucket of corn dogs - or "Pronto Pups" (that's a great blog name!):

But, out of the bucket, they look like this (and taste awesome):

I didn't have this, but for you health nuts out there the Fair offers this for sale:

Its also not a trip to the Fair without scalding hot mini-donuts:

Or scalding hot cheese curds ("scalding hot" is kind of a standard Fair temperature):

But then you can cool down with some honey lemonade (two sips is enough - a little honey lemonade goes a looooong way):

Still, while you sip your honey lemonade, you can look at the awesome crop art (the Twins are bad, but we still loves us some Joe Mauer):

Obviously, no trip to the Fair is complete unless you get yourself a bucket of Sweet Martha's cookies:

Or a shake from the Dairy Barn (note, the picture is not that sweet, but the shake is still awesome):

And, that's the Fair. There's more to eat and see, of course, but I think we hit all the essential points.

R is for Really, another blog post today?

2011-08-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

Yes!

Welcome to R. The letter that has brought us such words as Rooster:

Among others.

Q is for Quicksilver

2011-08-28T14:14:00.001-07:00

When we were younger, my sister and I liked to get our dad clothes from a store called AlJohn's Beach Shop in Calhoun Square. It's long gone now, but they sold lots of surfer-dude-type clothes - kind of like the stuff you can get at Quicksilver. This made it an excellent place to shop for my dad, who I believe has surfed none times in his life and was a lawyer.

Anyway, the point was to try and make his wardrobe more "cool." Sadly, since this happened in the 80's, a lot of neon and loudly colored geometric shape patterns were involved. The plan worked pretty well, and dad usually wore the clothes we got him (though the oxford button-down neatly tucked into the hot pink board shorts weren't exactly the look we had in mind).

P is for Portcullis

2011-08-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

If you really want to keep people out of your castle, you should install a portcullis. They are very heavy and hard for thieves, marauders and Obama door-knockers to get past:

If you don't have a castle, then I am afraid this blog post hasn't been of much use to you.

O is for OMG, could you be doing a worse job at this blogging challenge?

2011-08-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

And the answer is no.

But here I am, up to the letter O in just a few short minutes of blogging. I have satisfied the technical requirements for this challenge, and am getting back on track.

Here is a picture of Oslo. I have never been there, but it looks nice. And it also starts with O, so it is also apropos to this blog post:

N is for New Post

2011-08-28T14:01:00.001-07:00

I just posted about the letter M a moment ago. That means that I am up to N. This post is all about the letter N. You can use it in words like Nice (as in, "nice blog post, dumbass") or Never (as in, "I am never reading your stupid blog again").

Here is a picture of Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter. Neville's name, in case you hadn't noticed, starts with the letter N:

M is for "Meh"

2011-08-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

As in, this blog post is just "meh." I am either going to have to concede the loss in this blogging challenge, or start posting a lot in the next couple of days. I don't want to throw in the towel yet. I will try to make my posts worth reading. But I will not try very hard.

Here we go:

L is for Lake Calhoun

2011-08-26T19:42:00.001-07:00

This week, our friends, the Piatkowskis are in town from Philadelphia, and we have been taking advantage of the great weather.

On Sunday, we went swimming in Lake Calhoun and then went to Tin Fish for dinner outside. We have been wanting to try Tin Fish for a while, and it was pretty good. We made a couple rookie mistakes, though.

Tin Fish is the kind of restaurant where you order at the counter and they bring your food out to you. Going off the menu, we decided on fish tacos, and got a variety of them for the table.

Turns out, though, they are not so much "fish tacos" as they are "gigantic fish burrito things," so we ended up with a tad more food than we actually needed:

It was good, though.

K is for Kameahameha

2011-08-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

Bet you didn't see that coming.

Kameahmeha and his descendants, Kameahmehas II-IV ruled Hawaii from 1810-1863. One of the things that Kameahamea II did was to end the "kapu" (or "taboo") of women not being allowed to eat with men.

I learned this, and may other really cool things about Hawaii while running the Ragnar Relay this weekend. During my runs, I listened to Unfamiliar Fishes by Sarah Vowell. I have a long way to go, but so far it's really good. As LH would say, if you want to read it, you should:

J is for: Just bought a new cooler

2011-08-18T17:44:00.001-07:00

With a title like that, I bet you guys can't wait to read this blog!

But guess what? It wasn't an ironic title, this blog really will suck. Still, I'm way behind in the challenge, so here goes.

I was supposed to buy food for my Ragnar van this week, but instead, I worked all the time and forgot. So, we just went to Target and I bought a new cooler, which will go well with our other ten coolers at home that I could have brought for free.

Turns out that when you run a 195-mile relay race with 12 people you (1) are stupid and (2) eat a lot of junk food. Here's us at the checkout line (these aren't great pictures, but, in fairness, I am not trying very hard here):

And here's the new cooler!

That's great blogging!

I is for I'm Going To Fail My Own Blogging Challenge

2011-08-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

Work is crazy at the moment. Time to phone it in and recycle (or, re-recycle) old material:

What has two thumbs and is probably not going to finish this blogging challenge?

This guy:

H is for Harry Potter

2011-08-13T18:49:00.001-07:00

Our boys remain completely obsessed with all things Harry Potter. Their favorite thing to do is have wizard duels where they stand about 10 feet apart, wands in hand, and scream spells at each other. This probably bothers the neighbors at times, but at least they are playing together.

They are actually so obsessed that they both know several "actual" spells from the books and what the spells do. As a result, I frequently moderate disputes where one of them will say: "Dad! I did locomotorcorpus on [Mac or Shef] and [Mac or Shef] is still moving!"

Still, though, Shef read books 5, 6 and 7 to himself this Summer, so good things come out of this obsession.

Also, Mac has watched Harry Potter movies 1-5 and he's only 3, so some bad things come out of this obsession as well.

G is for Going strong

2011-08-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

Happy anniversary, SavvyMom - here's to 9 more great years!

F is for F'n A

2011-08-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

We have waaaaaaaaay too many participants in this challenge!!! It's awesome, but I just spent more than an hour reading all the posts. So, I can't blog tonight for realz. I will just leave you with this:

Obviously this is a photoshop, but we here at ProntoPup are very excited about the Vikings' new QB, Donovan McNabb. Should be a great season.

E for Effort

2011-08-07T18:49:00.001-07:00

(first of all, welcome to the August Blogging Challenge, One-Woman Adventure; The Henster; Life, As Per Usual; A Wooden Nickel; and Unabashed Liberal!)

Shef, Mac and I went up to the cabin with my parents this weekend while KC is at Camp Foley.

Shef is waaaaay into waterskiing right now, and has been working like crazy over the last two weekends on his skillz. It has been pretty incredible to watch. Last weekend, he got up on his trainer skis. By the end of the weekend, he could get up pretty much every time, and even made it outside the wake:

This weekend, he mastered the trainers, and was sloloming like a champ. He was also determined to take the next step, and is now waterskiing on his own (i.e. without a rope attached to his skis). He tried so hard to make it outside the wake, but it's a lot harder without the rope attached to his skis. Still, he gave it all he had:

And, he kept trying despite this pretty spectacular fall:

(Note the part where my dad says that he's going to try going "faster" and I agree with his decision. Less than one second later, Shef is yanked out of his skis and faceplants in the water. That's great parenting/grandparenting!)

I'm so proud of Shef for sticking with it despite a bunch of falls. I would also like to issue apology #8,763 to my parents for all the waterskiing-related meltdowns I had while I was learning. I get it now. You were not to blame for my falls and you weren't intentionally trying to hurt me. I just thought that at the time. In my defense, though, I was only 26.

[closed-circuit to Unabashed Liberal: If we get a MasterCraft, then Shef will learn even faster - and you can't put a price on that!]

Dome Dogs

2011-08-05T20:39:00.001-07:00

D is for Decorating. It's also for Dome Dogs, which is the name of one of my fantasy baseball teams.

But mainly it's for decorating.

KC and I have a hard time choosing art. We like art, but it just seems like too big a deal to purchase it.

And to be clear, it's not like we're skulking around Christie's looking for a Matisse from his Fauvist period to round out our collection or anything. We just need some cheap prints of water or a windmill or some shit to slap in a frame and put on the wall.

Case-in-point, our bedroom:

A tad sparse, no?

That was our wall for about 10 months. Then, in a fit of domestic pique, we hit up a hip new furniture store the other weekend...

[ed. note: I just read that last sentence back and have to stop blogging for a moment so I can kick my own ass]

...and found some art that we think works better than having one tiny picture on a big wall with three hooks in it:

So, one wall down. At our current rate of one wall every ten months, our house will be fully decorated in about 50 to 60 years. So we'll have you all over then to see it!

L'iL C

2011-08-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

C is for Coming up with ideas in blog challenges. It's also for L'ilC, who is guest judging So You Think You Can Dance tonight. Coincidentally.

(btw, welcome to the challenge, Slapdash, Indiana Rock and In Other Words (and family)!)

Anyway, I like these blogging challenges because they get you writing. If you can't think of anything to write, though, you can always just meet the basic requirements.

Speaking of which, I need an image:

Busy B

2011-08-03T19:22:00.001-07:00

So, I don't want to get type-cast as the "beer-can chicken blogger," but B is for Beer-Can Chicken. (btw, welcome to the challenge MM, LH and SavvyMom!)

Last weekend, we went to the cabin with our good friends the Kniffens (Hi, Kniffens!) and beer-can chicken-making ensued. As did G&Ts.

Anywho, I thought it was time to put to rest the age-old debate of which beer is better for beer-can chicken, Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss or Miller Light:

Enter the warriors:

The beer-can chicken tango ensues:

And ends:

Umm, gross. Let's move on.

Aaaaaaaand the winner is: Well, we forgot about the contest and then just cut up the chicken and ate it, but it was totally awesome. So, we'll call it a tie. Which goes to the Leine's since we were in Wisco (true story, when I worked at Applebee's in Eden Prairie, we sold Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss as an "import"):

Since we were at the cabin, this also happened:

And then this. Cabins are built for 7-year-olds, I think. Shef and Maggie wanted to jump in the lake with all their clothes on after dinner. The parents in us said "no," but the G&Ts in us said "whatever." Then, Shef wanted us to throw him in the lake, and we weren't going to pass that opportunity up. And now we have this picture forever:

AUGUST BLOGGING CHALLENGE, Y'ALL!!! (First post = A)

2011-08-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

So, SavvyMom tells me it's my turn to come up with a blogging challenge. But then she started her own blogging challenge. It goes between sometime a while ago and August 18. But that doesn't make sense. I think it should be a one-month challenge. It does include images, though, which I like. In fact, the images challenge and the alphabet challenge were my two favorites. So, in the spirit of not coming up with my own idea, my blogging challenge copies two other challenges and then usurps SavvyMom's current challenge. Here it is:

In August, you should do 26 posts featuring each letter of the alphabet (order is up to you) that also include an image.

My first post is, not surprisingly A.

A stands for Ashley, the Bachelorette:

Tonight was the final night of this season's Bachelorette. I think I can honestly say that I did not miss a single minute of the season. Just ask KC and Erin, who no doubt regret ever introducing me to this show. OMG, guys! Ashley had to contend with so much. First of all, she had to choose between so many aMAZEing guys! Also, Bentley (don't even get me started).

Anywho, not being in the core demographic targeted by The Bachelorette, I was unfamiliar with the show. But, I have to say that I got totally hooked, and am rooting for Ashley and her new fiancee (SPOILER ALERT), JP. Their love is 1-in-a-10, which is about how many Bachelorette couples are still together, but whatev.

I am emotionally drained after that finale. I literally did not see that ending coming where one guy lost and the other guy won and got engaged. So powerful. I only wish Chris would have asked JP how he felt watching his now-fiancee give the sexy mud-bath massage to Ben literally hours before accepting JP's proposal and telling him how much she loved him and how long she had been waiting to tell him that.

Love is funny, I guess.

That's it for this post, but everyone should totally do the (co-opted and stolen-from-others) AUGUST BLOGGING CHALLENGE!

Adventures in grilling

2011-07-24T13:13:00.001-07:00

We had some friends over for dinner last night, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to try making beer-can chicken on the new grill. One thing I like about making beer-can chicken is that it fun to do and hard to mess up.

But, I had never tried it at home, and it was not one of my more successful efforts. Everything started out fine, and the chickens were prepped and ready for grilling:

The trick to great beer-can chicken is to cook it for a bit more than an hour over indirect, medium heat. The internets tell me that this translates to about 350 degrees in a gas grill, so I got the grill to the correct temperature and began the beer-chicken tango:

I went out about 10 minutes later to check on the temperature, and found that it had risen just a touch over 350 and was around 625 degrees. Also, there was a relatively alarming amount of smoke pouring out of the grill. It turns out that coating chickens in olive oil, plopping them on a beer can and throwing them into our new grill is less a recipe for beer-can chicken than it is for sudden and violent combustion:

(Yes, the chicken on the right is actually on fire in that picture.)

Fortunately, we had a good "plan B" which was to serve our guests less food. We supplemented with extra G&T's to general approval, and I think everyone had a good time. We're heading up to the cabin this weekend, and I plan to try again, hopefully with better results. I will keep you, the internets, posted.

Frontera Grill!!!

2011-07-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today, I am channeling one of my favorite new blogs, Happy Opu - written by Jewel Staite (aka Kaylee from Firefly (Best. Show. Ever.)).

I learned about this blog because I follow all (or at least all that I know of) the Firefly cast on Twitter for some reason. I always thought that Jewel's tweets were nice because she seems to do really fun things all the time like go to restaurants and Napa Valley and Hawaii and stuff, and I used to think to myself, "boy, I bet it's fun to be Jewel Staite. She should blog about that." And then she did.

Anyway, sometimes, I also, too, go to great restaurants. And, because I have a phone with a camera, I decided to blog all about it so that you, the internets, could share in the experience.

So, here we go with the FRONTERA GRILL.

KC and I learned about Frontera's chef, Rick Bayless, thanks to Top Chef Masters (he won the first season). He seemed so nice that we just really wanted to go to his restaurant.

IT. WAS. AWESOME!!!

Here's how to do it:

Step 1: Walk 2.2 miles from your downtown Chicago hotel to the Shedd Aquarium in 90+ degree weather with no tree or cloud cover.

Step 2: Notice that the line to get into the Shedd Aquarium is long enough to circle the globe 18 times.

Step 3: Immediately hail a cab and head to Frontera Grill.

When you get there, you should probably order the Blue Agave Margarita. As you probably expected, it has Cazadores Blanco tequila, Cointreau, fresh lime juice, and is shaken tableside in a shaker topped with a freshly cut half-lime:

Actually, like me, you should probably get two.

If you're into things that are totally sweet (by which I mean, "awesome" and not actually "sweet"), you should get the guacamole. It has a citrusy taste and chunks of avocado and tomato, and you can pair it with two kinds of homemade salsas and freshly cooked tortilla chips:

Another thing you should get if you like things that taste totally sweet (there I go again. I need a different superlative than "sweet" when I am restaurant blogging because it may give the impression of actual "sweetness" as opposed to the more general "kick-ass" definition of "sweet." This is hard. But, if blogging weren't hard, there would be free blogging sites on the internets, and everyone would do it. Ummm...).

Where was I? oh yeah, FISH TACOS!!! Or, as Rick would say, "Tacos al Carbon: Wood-grilled fish [ed. note: it was catfish] sliced & served with roasted pepper rajas, two salsas, frijoles charros, guacamole & homemade tortillas":

Holy crap, these were so good. Apparently, I cannot be a food blogger because I only know the words "good" and "awesome" and "sweet".

Let me try this:

This meal we had is why you go to restaurants. I couldn't make this. Neither could you (except you, Rick Bayless). Someone really smart and skilled had to come up with it and then execute it in such a way that I was thrilled to give them my money for the privilege of eating there. That's great restauranting!

Soccer!

2011-07-12T19:49:00.001-07:00

We play soccer now. Both boys are on as-yet-unnamed red jersey teams. They are pretty psyched about both being red:

Here's Mac in his first game. Well, if I'm being honest, this is the practice. Mac is the youngest you can possibly be in this league (3 years with a June birthday), so the 4-year-olds on his team are literally 25% older/bigger than he is and he didn't actually kick the ball a single time in his first game. Here's what it would have looked like if he had, though:

Shef's game was much more competitive. My phone doesn't have a zoom feature (thanks for nothing, Apple!), but here is Shef taking care of business (he's wearing the #1 jersey - he has now chosen #1 in his last two sports (healthy confidence on that one)):

So, they play on Mondays and Thursdays. Which means that we now watch 4 hours of 3/4-year-old and 7/8-year-old soccer every week. That's great parenting!

June Blogging Challenge: Episode The Last

2011-06-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

The theme for the last blog in the June Blogging Challenge is: Best. Movie. Ever.

Picking the best movie ever is really hard. People have a tendency to try and cheat by breaking down their top 5 or 10 across several genres - comedy, drama, action, foreign, cartoon, etc. But that's lame. I have a favorite movie ever. And it is awesome. It's the one I think of first whenever I am asked to name my favorite movie. It is Die Hard.

Die Hard is my favorite movie for several reasons. Some of those are these:

1. It came at the perfect time before cell phones were everywhere, so it was possible for the terrorists to take over a major skyscraper in L.A. (the Nakatomi Plaza) and keep it quiet from the cops until John McClane managed to throw one of the terrorists on a moving cop car passing by from 30 floors up.

So it has believability.

2. Because it takes place in a tall building, it is possible to have a scene where John McClane duct tapes a crapload of C-4 to an office chair and then throws it down an elevator shaft so that when it hits the elevator on the floor where the terrorists are shooting missiles at the L.A. Cops' attack tank it detonates, killing the terrorists and saving the cops.

So, again, believability and big explosions.

3. The bad guys are SUPER BAD. They are classic quasi-European evildoers (by which I mean that they are clearly European, but it's ambiguous as to which country they are from and they are just sort of generically European, except for the fact that they are mostly German). They look super mad all the time, but still have good comic relief while maintaining their bad-guy cred:

So, you like them, but don't care when they die, which is important (I'm talking to you, Old Yeller).

4. It is as good today as it was when it came out.

Movies like this don't come along all that often. It was filmed in 1988. It's just as good today. Except we have smartphones now, and someone in the Nakatomi Plaza would have texted the cops immediately and foiled the whole plan. Otherwise, though, it's still perfect.

So, fittingly, as LH would say, if you want to see this movie, you should.

Feeling disgruntled

2011-06-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

Republicans have shitty ideas, but implement them effectively.

Democrats have effective ideas, but implement them shittily.

How much better could things be right now if Democrats just did what they said they wanted to do?

It's not all bad, though. Some Republicans (!) just helped to bring marriage equality to New York.

Baby steps. More and better Democrats, please. I'm talking to you, Mr. President.

June Blogging Challenge: Episode 4

2011-06-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

The theme for episode 4 is: College

There are four movies that pretty much dominated my college years. They are all awesome for various reasons. But, as awesome as they are, they are even more awesome because I associate them with my college friends.

The movies are these, in no particular order:

1. Billy Madison

Basically the best movie ever. It's tackles social issues that most movies don't dare to touch. Also, it has one of the best lines ever: "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!" How the Oscars overlooked this one, I'll never know.

2. Tommy Boy

You can't quote from this movie in context, but my favorite lines are these: (1) "Look, Magellan"; (2) "Okay, moron is here"; and (3) "You better pray to the god of skinny punks that the wind doesn't pick up or I will come over there and jam an oar up your ass!"

3. Three Amigos

This alone is enough to earn its spot:

But this one would too:

4. Tombstone

The movie poster alone is enough to solidify this movie as one of the best ever:

But this does the job as well:

So that's college.

June Blogging Challenge: Episode 3

2011-06-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

The theme for episode 3 is Music. And, Recycling.

Yes, I am about to phone it in on a once-weekly blogging challenge.

Once again, my favorite internet video ever:

But also, here's my favorite music video produced by kids at Middlebury which is a school nearly as good as Williams:

And this one doesn't have music, but here's one that I made to make fun of my friend Snoop after I beat him twice in fantasy football even though I only had 2 or 3 wins all year (thanks, vague rules for blogging challenge!):

Happy birthday, Mac!

2011-06-11T19:12:00.001-07:00

Mac is 3 today! We had a great party with family and friends. Mac got several new weapons, and immediately put some of them to use in attacking his big brother.

Happy birthday, Mac!!!

Gotta Get Down On Friday

2011-06-10T17:10:00.001-07:00

If it's Friday, it's steak night at the West house. Usually, this means making The Meal. But, in light of getting the New Grill and it being almost Summer and all, I decided to change things up a bit. Internets, I give you grilled sirloin, grilled corn on the cob and grilled French Bread.

Here's how it works. Grill everything and enjoy.

Step one:

Step two:

Step three:

I am a big fan of grilling my corn-on-the-cob. A lot of people think that you need to shuck it and wrap it in tin foil first, but you don't. I like it grilled in the husk better. Some people think you need to soak it in water for 15 minutes first, but I don't think you need to. Maybe it's better that way, but 8-10 minutes or so, turning every 2 will get you some kick-a$$ corn-on-the-cob even if you just throw it on the grill without doing anything to it. Probably you should err on the 10 minutes side, but you can't really go wrong. I do think it's better if you take off the first layer of husk, though.

To cook the steak properly, I suggest not cooking it very much at all. Well done steak is like coffee with milk. Which is to say, terrible. If you wanted milk, why did you ask for coffee? If you wanted charred ash, why did you ask for steak? Terrible. F.

June blogging challenge: Episode 2

2011-06-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

The theme for June Blogging Challenge, Episode #2 is: Family.

Mac really loves baseball. I have posted about his hitting prowess before. However, because nothing in the June Blogging Challenge Rules says I can't, I will recycle the theme and post the latest video of Mac at bat. I call it "Mac at Bat:"

Pretty bad? He just hit it over the garage!

ProntoPup Brings You An Important Public Service Announcement

2011-06-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

I have always subscribed to the school of thought that you shouldn't send anyone a picture of your junk under any circumstances. It seems, however, that many famous men subscribe to a different school of thought, which leads them to send pictures of their junk to young women and then get caught and humiliated. I have come to believe that this happens because nobody has thought to make a handy flowchart explaining to famous men exactly when it is and is not appropriate to send a picture of their junk to a young woman.

Hopefully, this will help those famous men and reduce the number of junk-picture-sending-related scandals that have plagued so many famous men of late (ed. note: because this is such an important and timely issue, ProntoPup provides this handy flowchart free of charge):

The Grill 'a' My Dreams

2011-06-05T17:29:00.001-07:00

Get it? It's like the girl of my dreams, but with "grill." People really like puns.

Anyway, I cooked the crap out of some salmon on the grill tonight. Except that when I say I "cooked the crap" out of the salmon, I don't mean to imply that I OVERcooked it. I just mean that I cooked it well. By which I don't mean that the salmon was "well done." I just mean that it was delicious and properly grilled.

Blogging is hard.

But don't just take my word for it. Here's what it looked like when it was done. Internets, I give you Grilled Salmon with Dill Caper Vinaigrette and Grilled Asparagus:

Then, here's some grilled angel food cake with fresh fruit to finish off the night:

So, a successful night of grilling, I think. Not too shabby, eh?

He's got me pegged

2011-06-04T06:33:00.001-07:00

So, Shef put together a nice Father's Day present for me at school. It contains several coupons for things like a nap, a massage, the chance to choose a TV show and some toast. I need to use the coupons quickly, though, because he wrote on the front that they expire on August 4.

Another feature of the present was a page called "I know my dad," where Shef answered several questions to show how well he knows me. It was a very sweet thought, but apparently I need to cut down on the booze and caffeine and get my fat ass off the couch:

June Blogging Challenge: Episode 1

2011-06-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am jumping in this new blogging challenge. Here's my strategy. There are five Wednesdays in June, so five blog posts to be, ummm, posted. I think I will build up to the Most. Awesome. Movie. Evah. on June 30. Each post up to then will have a theme. The themes will be arbitrary, and probably kind of pedestrian. But that's just blogging.

Anywho, theme one is Embarrassing.

There are no shortage of embarrassing movies I have admitted to liking on this blog. But I have a new one:

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

I have watched this movie about 10 times. I really like it. Which is really embarrassing to me.

But this is supposed to be a review, so here goes:

Have you ever wanted to watch a bunch of white people speaking with English accents in an attempt to somehow seem Persian all while bending the time/space continuum in the desert? Do you like Jake Gyllenhaal with not a lot of clothes on and thin leather straps for some reason wrapped around his biceps? Do you like Gemma Arterton with not a lot of clothes and doing a lot of things that apparently require midriff-bearing outfits?

Then Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is for you!!! There are a lot of cool action scenes and the plot is kind of dumb, but enjoyable. As LH might say, if you want to watch it, you should.

But if you look at the movie poster, you can probably skip the movie, because that's more or less it:

Culinary Adventures

2011-05-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I decided to step outside my comfort zone and cook something other than The Meal. So I grabbed a copy of Cooking Light (thanks, Mary!) and whipped up some strawberry/avocado salsa and fish tacos for the fam.

It was nothing, really.

First we started with a Strawberry-Avocado Salsa with Cinnamon Tortilla Chips.

At first, it looked like this:

But, much like Michelangelo finding the sculpture hidden within the untouched block of marble, I found within these ingredients an appetizer:

For comparison, here's how the Cooking Light folks thought it should look:

Pretty close, right?

Then, it was on to the main course, Blackened Tilapia Baja Tacos.

Much like the Strawberry-Avocado Salsa with Cinnamon Tortilla Chips, the tacos started out as a collection of seemingly unrelated and incompatible ingredients:

But, with time, effort, and a little extra ingredient I like to call "love," it all came together:

Again, here's how the Cooking Light folks thought it should look:

So, it all turned out pretty good. Sure, it was a lot of work. But, for me, the happy looks on my family's faces more than made up for all the effort.

Also, I used pretty much every dish in the house and KC had to clean up, so that's kind of funny, too.

I never blog anymore

2011-05-25T19:45:00.001-07:00

Why don't I do that? I think it's because I am watching Idol. And sometimes I am watching different shows. Which is why I don't have time to blog. Like tonight:

A

2011-05-13T18:17:00.001-07:00

Tonight, the boys are at their grandmother's and KC and I rented two movies!

KC rented "Easy A."

I rented, "The A-Team."

I think this means KC and I are N'synch because we both got movies that feature the letter "A".

I am pretty sure KC just thinks I'm an idiot who rented the "A" Team.

But that's just love.

Let there be light (redux)

2011-05-03T19:14:00.001-07:00

Some people (including me, it turns out) can't see the picture on my last post.

Here it is again (please see last post for witty commentary accompanying said picture):

Also, what does "redux" mean? I think I use the term correctly, but am not totally sure.

Let There Be Light

2011-05-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

Our new house is well lit - so much so that light bulbs don't seem capable of handling the task they have been given. No two lights are the same, and no two fixtures accept the same type of bulb or wattage. It's actually kind of a problem.

In fact, since we moved in, I would estimate that at any given point in time, approximately 20 percent of all light bulbs in the house are burnt out. Here are this weekend's replacements:

There were actually three of the floodlight on the left that had to be replaced, and two of the little round one. The two candle style bulbs are actually for fixtures that require different wattages, and needed replacement in three different rooms in the house. Others needed replacing as well, but we had some spares around, so I didn't need to buy new ones.

This was about a two-hour project this weekend.

KC says I am "obsessed" with replacing light bulbs in this house. But by "obsessed," I assume she means, "a responsible homeowner," so I don't take offense.

And now we can see again. So that's nice. Particularly since we live in a land of perpetual coldness where the sun never shines.

We did it, Y'all!

2011-04-30T08:48:00.001-07:00

Another successful blogging challenge! Great idea, LH!

And it helped us to get through a long, dreary, and way-too-snowy April to this:

It's a miracle!

Too bad it will probably snow next week and kill everything.

The meal: reprise

2011-04-29T17:31:00.001-07:00

It occurred to me that, while I am always posting pictures of The Meal, I never post pictures of ME cooking The Meal.

The internets need this.

Win, Twins?

2011-04-28T18:58:00.001-07:00

All we do is give up runs to Tampa Bay. C'mon, Twins!

I want to go to a game soon. Maybe when it no longer snows all the time.

Working

2011-04-27T19:21:00.001-07:00

Too much work tonight. Can't blog.

Tired

2011-04-26T18:55:00.001-07:00

I think I need some sleep and an attitude adjustment.

Here's Shef with Chuck E. Cheese at his birthday party. This was a fun day. Mac and I played a cool speed boat game about ten times in a row. We had unlimited tokens (because I kept buying tokens), and there was no line, so we figured what the heck?